Some Memories by Marilyn K. Nicely
The history of LGBT justice issues at St.
Stephen’s belongs to all of us. As I look back I think of all of the support
and encouragement that has come from church member allies. It began with the
Challenges and Choices Sunday School Class study of homosexuality in the late
1990’s. Then the whole church joined the discussion in a series of round tables
with speaker presentations. Everyone was cautious or even afraid. Did we want
to become the “gay church?” Would St.
Stephen’s cease to be a family church?
To investigate what being more inclusive would
mean, the Gay/Lesbian Task Force was formed whose members worked very hard to
discern how to follow through with the opinion held by many church members that
we should specifically define the meaning of “inclusive” in our mission
statement to include sexual orientation in order to really be “more inclusive”. A survey questionnaire was distributed and it
showed that church members had many concerns, which church staff worked to
address (especially our Pastor Craig Stinson). We proceeded after two votes to
amend the language of our mission statement to include sexual orientation and
added several other categories such as “ethnicity, race, color, ancestry,
national origin, religion, age, gender, physical or
mental ability”. I remember particularly the wording suggested by Roger Frech, “without
regard to the divisions that have been used to separate God’s family.”
After the vote in favor of the mission
statement, the Administrative Council created the Gay/Lesbian Ministries Committee.
As a Ministry, it had voting membership on the Council. I was the first chair
of the Committee. An early goal was simply to be present as a witness to the
faith community that all people are welcome in God’s way and that St. Stephen’s
is a safe place for all to worship. In the midst of these beginnings, Dianne
Peters was appointed as our new pastor in 1999. Dianne was very supportive and
arrived shortly after the mission statement had been amended. She was
instrumental in making possible the transfer of YOTSO (Youth Open to Sexual
Orientation) from being a PFLAG organization to becoming a St. Stephen’s youth
group. This change made it possible for this support group to continue to exist
under the church umbrella.
When I was no longer able to chair the
Committee, Jennifer Wilson and David Burns took over its leadership. After Mary
Jo’s passing in 2002, I returned to chair the committee and later Steve Davis
joined me as co-chair of the Committee. It truly has been a journey. From fear
of being a “gay church,” we have had 80 of us marching in the Gay Pride Parade
and have been top fund raisers for the AIDS Walk. Amy Venable was appointed as
pastor in 2007. Both Dianne and now Amy stepped forward to be the official
representative of our church to the clergy in other denominations and to the
public where many are not sympathetic to the path chosen by our congregation. As
we realized that the Committee’s name was not inclusive, we requested that
Administrative Council approve its name change to Reconciling Ministries
Committee.
Steve Davis has provided leadership and
organization skills to help us be not only an accepting church, but also to be
engaged in advocacy. Three years ago the Reconciling Ministries Committee
proposed an amendment to the mission Statement to include “gender identity” as
a first step in becoming an official